


Everyone worries about Jared Kleinman

by OnigiriGo



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alana is a great friend, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Galaxy Gals, Jared Kleinman Is Bad at Feelings, Jared is Stubborn, Jared's older sister (OC), Kleinsen, M/M, Pining Jared, Soulmate AU, Soulmate Tattoos, and a matchmaker, jared-centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-03-29 12:33:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13927218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnigiriGo/pseuds/OnigiriGo
Summary: Jared gets his soulmate tattoo, and he knows exactly who his soulmate is. He's pretty freaked out about it, and fails to hide his emotions. As a result, everyone worries.And maybe they should.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone,  
> I'm back with a multi-chapter fic!  
> I've been working on this for a while now, enjoy!

Math was boring, so incredibly boring. That did not come as a surprise to Jared Kleinman, for he found most things boring. Before he could catch himself, he was staring at a particular blonde boy again, wishing he had his phone to snap a picture of that freckle-dusted face of his. Sadly, he had broken his phone once again, this time by getting it stuck behind his bed when he tried to grab a bag of off-brand Doritos from his secret stash. He tapped his pencil on his notebook absentmindedly and averted his gaze to the window left of him, afraid of getting caught staring. After a ridiculous amount of pining, Jared had become a full-fledged Feelings Represser.   
Nothing remarkable happened all day, until fifth period arrived. Jared sat in the back of the classroom and was staring at the back of Evan’s head, when the other boy suddenly turned around and caught Jared’s gaze. He felt himself flush red and looked away. Stupid stupid stupid now he thinks you’re weird. Wait he already thinks that. Wow, you really blew it this ti- A foreign, tingling sensation crept up Jared’s left arm. It felt kind of like when you sit cross-legged for too long and your foot is asleep. Jared’s thoughts went the wrong way for a second. All the people he knew who had their tattoos already, described getting it like this. Jared raised his hand to ask for a bathroom pass. While doing so, his sleeve lowered and the new ink on Jared’s arm became visible for the whole class to see. Everyone gasped, but no one said anything. Jared was really glad he didn’t share this class with Alana, because she certainly would’ve. Jared put down his hand as soon as the teacher said he could go, and got up. He glanced over at Evan, and to his relief, saw that Evan had not noticed any of the events going on. Jared closed the door behind himself and sped away as fast as possible. This was not happening.

After the final bell rang, Jared went home with a weird feeling in his stomach. He felt kind of sick, and he couldn’t really grasp anything that had happened. He got into his flaming hot car, but didn’t turn on the airconditioning. He was too out of it. He was about to cry when there was a knock on the car window. He turned around and saw Evan standing outside. He had a worried look in his face, not that that was anything new, Evan looked worried all the time. Jared sighed and rolled down the car window. “Hey Evan, what’s wrong?” Evan looked Jared straight in the eye, which was quite unusual. “I uhm was”, Evan stuttered “going to ask you that. What’s w-wrong I m-mean.” Jared shook his head to buy some time so he could recollect himself. “Nothing’s wrong, now get in, unless you wanna go with the bus.” Evan nodded and got in. Though he knew it would make Evan nervous, Jared drove just a little over the speed limit. It was hard, driving while your best friend and recently acquired soulmate sat next to you, completely oblivious. Evan tapped Jared’s shoulder, and Jared slowed down a bit. “Jared, you just drove past my house.”

The house was way too quiet for Jared’s taste. Awfully quiet. Jared didn’t like silence, because it allowed his thoughts to be louder. He hated his ability to overthink everything, and that’s why he always surrounded himself with people, even though those people were not even remotely close to being his friends. He just needed someone to drown out the sounds in his head. He was going to grab something from the kitchen but couldn’t remember what exactly. He tried to find something to fiddle with and eventually settled for the hem of his T-shirt, because it reminded him of Evan. He tried not to cry, but that proved impossible. He felt like he’d ruined everything when he had yet to do so, and broke down.   
At first, he attempted to rub away his tears, but after a while he gave up and started bawling his eyes out. It kind of felt good to just feel the things that had been crawling around in his head for forever. That damn soulmark, pointing and laughing at him from its comfortable spot on his arm. He knew exactly who his soulmate was, and he should be happy that it was him, the boy he loved, that wonderful boy. Jared was gay, very gay, but that scared him so much. Other people scared him so much. He wanted to change himself but at the same time didn’t want to. He had no friends, except for Evan. Oh, poor Evan, stuck with someone like Jared. Gay Jared. Friendless Jared. Stupid Jared. His thoughts spiraled down into dark and unknown places and Jared felt like he couldn’t breathe. It took a second before he realized he actually couldn’t and that he was suffocating himself with his pillow. An especially dark thought flashed through his mind, but his neck snapped up and he gasped for air. He sniffled one last time and stopped sobbing. He wiped his eyes dry and got up to get started on that enormous amount of homework.

“Jared! It’s time for dinner, get your ass downstairs!” Jared woke up from his impromptu nap when he heard his sister call him for dinner. He shoved his chair backwards and went to the kitchen. He found his sister trying to pick a pizza. She didn’t look up.   
“Waddya think, pepperoni or Margherita?”   
Jared couldn’t speak, afraid of the state of his voice. His sister noticed the uncharacteristic silence and eyed him with a concerned expression on her face. “Jared, did you cry?”   
“No.” He looked away, tears burning in his eyes again. His sister pulled him into a hug. “I’m sorry. I should’ve noticed.” Her voice was soft and comforting.  
Jared cried whatever tears he had left. “It’s just s-so m-much. S-so much all at once.” He managed to get out before he started crying loudly in his sister’s shirt.   
“Ssshh”, his sister shushed him “It’s all going to be fine. Is there anything you want to tell me?” Jared abruptly pulled away, as if burned. “Jared”, his sister said “please tell me. You can’t keep bottling all your emotions up like this.” She sounded so heartbroken and worried, they always shared every little thing. It had to be bad if Jared wasn’t telling her. Jared couldn’t take this. He took a shaky, really shaky, breath.  
“I-I’m gay.” No reaction. His sister was disgusted, he knew it. He had ruined one of two good things he had left. Oh god, it was all over now.   
“Dude. Me too.” They looked at each other and burst out laughing. “Oh my god Rachel”, Jared wheezed “this is the best coming out scenario.” 

After their laughing fit had calmed down a bit, they popped the Margherita pizza in the microwave and hugged it out on the couch. While browsing through Netflix his sister suddenly spoke up. “But seriously though, that can’t be all you were crying over. What messed you up so much?” Jared swallowed and pulled up his sleeve, revealing a small patch of blue inked patterns. Rachel gasped. “Is that-”   
“A soulmate mark? Unfortunately, yes.”   
“Unfortunately? This is great! Do you know who it is?”  
“Yes.”  
“Well, I’m going to need more than that. Who?”  
Jared contemplated telling her, but she beat him to it.  
“Is it Evan?”   
A blush creeped up Jared’s cheeks.  
“OMG it totally is! And is that a blush I see? My little brother, in love!” She cooed.  
“This isn’t funny, okay? He’s probably straight anyway. It’ll be a platonic bond and I’ll be stuck pining forever.”   
At this his sister looked surprised. “Come on, he totally has the hots for you.”  
Jared scoffed. “You mean he has the hots for Zoe Murphy. Can’t really blame him, she’s great.”  
“Yeah, and gay as hell for Alana Beck.”  
“And on that, dear sister, we agree.”


	2. Chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared finds himself in a bind when Alana sees his new tattoo, and ends up telling her who his soulmate is. Of course, Alana has a plan ready.
> 
> Featuring Jared In The Bathroom and Alana being awesome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey, It's me
> 
> Sorry for the inconsistent updates! I'm working on an original story right now, and it takes up a lot of my time.  
> Anyway, here's chapter two:

  
Alana Beck told anyone who would listen that she believed in soulmates, even though she didn’t. She really wanted to believe in soulmates, really wanted to. The fact that her parents hadn’t found theirs didn’t mean she couldn’t either. Every time she told someone else that soulmates were real, it was more like she was telling herself not to give up just yet. She clutched her books to her chest and kept walking. She was going to be late for class, and Alana didn’t do ‘late for class’.   
  
Jared drove to school on his own, because Evan had texted he was taking the bus. This gave Jared the opportunity to shamelessly listen to sad and bittersweet songs in his car. Dodie’s ‘Secret For The Mad’ finished just as he pulled up to the school parking lot. He got out of the car and saw Evan getting off the bus. But, for some reason, he didn’t call out. He couldn’t find it in himself to make a sound. It dawned on him that he just didn’t want to be reminded of the fact that Evan was too good for him. Evan was cute, and sweet and he had been through so much already, he deserved better than Jared.  
Jared kept wondering if maybe his eyes were puffy or red, so he went to the bathroom first. He looked in the mirror. He looked alright, at least not worse than he usually did. If anyone asked, he would just blame it on weed, or something. The first bell rang. Shit. He was going to be late for class. He ran out into the hall. He had to be at the other side of the building, he’d be lucky if he was only two minutes late. While he sped through the hall, he didn’t notice a certain girl walking in the opposite direction and bumped into her.  
“Ow! Watch where you’re go- Wait, Jared?”  
“Uh, hey Alana.”  
“Did you get a tattoo you didn’t tell me about?”  
Jared quickly covered his arm with the sleeve of his hoodie.  
“I really don’t have any time right now, sorry. See you later.” Jared said, running off to English.  
  
 **From: Becks**  
I want to hear all about this, but don’t text me in class.  
  
Luckily, he didn’t have any classes with Evan today. He sat in the back of class again, staring out of the window. He didn’t really feel anything. He wasn’t sure if that was because he actually didn’t have any emotions right now, or if it was because there were to many too make out just one of them. He didn’t care anyway. There were more important things to worry about, like homework and that essay for French. The girl in front of him handed him a small piece of paper. He took it and unfolded it. It read:  
Heard you got your soulmate tattoo. Who is it?  
Jared scoffed. He wasn’t about to spill his beans to this random girl. There was enough gossip about him already. He crumpled up the piece of paper and debated whether to throw it at the back of the girl’s head. He decided against it and tucked it away into his pocket.   
  
The girl didn’t ask again, but Alana did. She and Jared were in Jared’s car, on their way to Alana’s house. She couldn’t take the bus on Fridays, due to the meetings for her extracurriculars, and Jared tutored a kid in the school library. They would always finish around the same time, so Jared would take Alana home. Today, they were talking about a subject that Jared had quickly grown to hate.  
“How long have you got it? Do you know who it is? How long have you been keeping this from me?!” Alana was rapidly firing questions at Jared, giving him no time to respond.  
“Calm down, Alana. I’m trying to not crash this car.”   
“No deflecting.”   
“Fine. I got it last week.” Jared sighed.  
“And?”  
“And what?”  
“Oh come on, you know what I mean, do you know who it is?”  
“No.” Jared’s ears flushed red.  
“Jared, I can tell you’re lying.”  
“I’m not lying!”   
“I’m counting to ten, Jared.” Alana started counting, very slowly.  
“It’s, uh, it’s someone you know.”  
Alana was still counting.  
“It’s E-Evan.” Jared’s voice was barely audible.  
Alana’s however, rose to a high pitch.  
“Oh my god, I totally called it. I have to tell Zoe.” She got out her phone.  
“No telling your girlfriend.” Jared said suddenly, realizing what would happen if she did.  
“One, she is not my girlfriend. Two, Why not?”  
“Because Zoe can’t keep secrets, and Evan will notice, and he’ll ask and then she’ll tell him.” He rushed out.  
“Okay, I won’t tell her, but you have to do something about this. It’s obvious you two like each other.”  
Jared tried to find something to focus on. There was a dead something on the road. He stared at it intensely.  
“No, he doesn’t like me.” Jared said after a few minutes.  
“Are you sure about that?” Alana wiggled her eyebrows.  
“Did you just use a meme against me? My god, what have I done?” Jared said, jokingly.  
“But you have to make a move. You know what, there’s a party at Zoe and Connor’s place tomorrow. Nothing too wild, I think, but it’ll be fun. You should ask if Evan wants to come.” Alana said.  
Jared weighed his options. Alana had already thought out a plan, there was no way in hell she would let it go. He sighed again.  
“Fine, I’ll do it.”  
Alana was still squealing when Jared dropped her off.   
  
Jared really wanted to call Evan, just hear his voice for a second. But he knew that calling people freaked Evan out, so he texted instead.  
  
 **To: TreeHugger**  
Hey Ev  
  
 **From: TreeHugger**  
Hi Jared  
  
 **To: TreeHugger**  
So there’s this party at at Zoe’s   
  
Tomorrow  
  
Alana and I are going, so I thought I should invite you too?

**From: TreeHugger**  
Wait a sec  
  
Okay, I’ll come  
  
Jared’s heart did a flip. He said yes. It wasn’t a date, of course, but Jared was a poor pining boy and the thought of spending time with Evan made him blush.  
  
 **To: Treehugger**  
Sweet  
  
Jared looked at his left arm again. The soulmark was pretty, a bunch of intricate patterns swirling around his arm. He should be proud, to have a soulmark at this age was rare. He ran his fingers over the dark blue lines.  
He didn’t feel proud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments and kudos! It makes me really happy and less depressed!  
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, keep an eye out for the next.


	3. Chapter 3

Sunscreen. That’s what Jared smelled when he looked at his tattoo. He could hear the exact sounds that had been at the beach that day. He could see freckles splattered across pale skin. Sand beneath his toes, blinding sun in his eyes. He blinked, and the moment was gone. He sighed and took the last bite of his cereal before sliding out of his seat and going up to his room. The stairs seemed endless. He plucked at his clothing, a pair of black jeans and a blue T-shirt with a yellow triangle on it. Alana had said this suited him, but he wasn’t so sure if anything did. He stood in front of the mirror for a fifth time, and felt the urge to change his outfit again. He wasn’t used to this kind of thing; he usually didn’t care much about his appearance. But today was different. He only had one more hour left until he had to pick up Alana and Evan for the party. He sat down on his bed and got out his phone. In his spiraling state, he called Alana  
“What is it, Jared? And hurry up because I’ve got a lot to do before the party starts.” Alana sounded a little distant, like she held her phone between her shoulder and the side of her head.  
“Hey Alana. I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can do the party tonight.” Jared mumbled.  
“Are you sick, Jared?” Alana asked.  
“Uh, yeah sure, I’m really sick.” Jared fake coughed.  
“I’m not buying that, Jared.” Alana didn’t sound very convinced.  
“You caught me. I’m so nervous, Alana.” Jared said defeatedly. Lying to Alana was practically impossible.  
“Nonsense! You’ll be fine. I’ll see you in an hour.” Alana concluded and hung up the phone.  
That was that, Jared supposed. He was done for. He didn’t even know what scared him anymore. Was it the fact that Evan had yet to find out about Jared’s tattoo? Or was it the possibility for Jared to embarrass himself in front of Evan? Or both?!

The party could be heard loud and clear from two streets’ distance. Yelling teenagers, deep bass in the music. Jared drove around for a while, trying to find a parking space close to the house, but not too close. You never know what idiot spots your car and gets weird ideas. The front door was unlocked and Jared, Evan and Alana squeezed their way past already drunk guests. Jared heard Zoe laughing in the living room.  
“I didn’t think you would actually do it!” She managed to get out in between giggles.  
When they got closer, Jared saw what had made Zoe almost spit out her drink. Connor had dyed part of his hair pink.   
“It was a dare! I never back out of a dare, you know that.” Connor said, hands on his hips. When he saw Jared’s group approach, he quickly put on the hood of his hoodie.  
“Hey guys, great to see you. You want a drink?” Zoe asked.  
“Some alcohol would be very much appreciated, thank you.” Alana joked.   
She went with Zoe to grab some clean cups. Connor and Evan were talking about some book they’d both read. Jared didn’t want to admit he’d read it too, so this left Jared awkwardly sitting on one arm of the couch, looking at the people dancing. He fidgeted with his glasses, a nervous habit. He had no idea how long he was sitting there when Evan put his head on top of Jared’s own.   
“Evan, what are you doing?” Jared asked, wondering what had made the otherwise reserved boy so touchy all of a sudden.  
“I’m hungry.” Evan drew out the last syllable.   
“He ate some brownies.” Connor piped up behind them. It took a second for Jared to puzzle together what that meant.  
“You mean he’s high? Oh god.” Jared concealed the worry in his tone with an amused chuckle. He got up, Evan whining because of the lack of human contact. He latched onto Connor instead, who was equally as high and let him. Jared felt jealous, but he left them on the couch while he went into the kitchen to grab them both a glass of water and something to eat. He came back with a box of cookies and two glasses of water. He pushed the glasses into the boys’ hands and set the cookies down in between them. He couldn’t help it, seeing Evan snuggled up that close to someone else made Jared feel uneasy. He sat back down on the arm of the couch, checking texts on his phone.   
“Jared?” Evan said. Jared didn’t look at Evan before he responded.  
“Yeah Evan? I’m kind of busy.”  
“Uhm, I feel very p-panicky.” Evan’s stutter was back.  
Jared whipped his head around. Connor had left the room. Jared took Evan’s arm and put it around his neck, offering some physical support while her guided Evan to one of the bedrooms upstairs. Zoe’s bedroom was locked when they walked past it. Jared grinned. Either Zoe was getting busy right now, or she would be very unhappy tomorrow morning.

Jared closed the door of the room and sat down next to Evan on the bed. Evan slumped against Jared’s shoulder. A blush painted his freckled cheeks.   
“Are you okay now? Do you need anything? Another glass of water?” Jared asked.  
“No, I’m fine. I just wanted to get you alone.” Evan smirked.   
“What? Evan, you can’t do that! I was worried..” Jared looked to the side at the last part, embarrassed.   
“Aw, you worried about me.”  
“Shut up.”  
“Jared, I gotta tell you something.” Evan started again. He put his arms around Jared’s torso.  
“What is it, then?” Jared hugged him back.  
“I love you.”  
Jared shook his head furiously. Geez, Evan was hight right now. “No you don’t.”  
“No, I really do.”  
“You don’t! You’re just high.” Jared shrugged off Evan’s embrace, and jumped from the bed. He paced towards the door.   
“Jared, you don’t get it-  
“You don’t get it! At all! You don’t know what you’re saying.” Jared turned the knob and walked out. He ran down the stairs, past drunk classmates and red solo cups scattered across the floor. He sent a quick text to Zoe telling her that Evan and Alana needed a ride, preferably from her. He got in his car, started it and drove away in the rain. 

At home, he was all alone again. No one to ask him where he had been, no one to grab him a towel to dry his hair and glasses. Didn’t matter anyway, because he started crying. Very loudly, gasping for breath in between sobs. What was wrong with him?

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you thought of this first chapter in the comments, and leave kudos if you liked this. That really does make me happy!
> 
> I'm sorry if my updates will be inconsistent, but I'll post as often as possible.


End file.
